Is your child behaving in a way that is making you frustrated? Maybe even angry at times?

Your child may be experiencing stress.

Stress is something that everyone, including children, can experience. Children aged 2 to 6 may not always have the words to explain how they feel, but they can still feel stress.

You might think ‘why would my child feel stress - they don’t pay bills or … (insert your thought here)’

Stress in children can come from many different sources, and it’s important for parents to understand what causes stress and how they can help their child cope.

Let me give you an example. One year, at preschool, there was a little girl (about 4 years old) I will call Jenny. Jenny ate everything she could get her hands on. Tiny car wheels, crayon shavings, glue, toilet paper, dust bunnies, Barbie shoes, game pieces, … you name it, and she probably ate it. Both mom and I were really frustrated with her; no amount of telling her to ‘spit it out’, ‘that’s not food,’ or ‘don’t eat that,’ would help. One day I sat down with mom and we discussed the situation. I became privy to information concerning Jenny’s home life. Jenny was stressed, worried and feeling out of control.

By eating inedible things, she felt she had control over life.

When children are stressed, parents often feel worried, or frustrated if they can’t understand their child's behaviour, especially if the child is crying, having tantrums continuously, or behaving like Jenny. They may not know exactly what’s causing the stress or how to help. And they might worry about their child's well-being and whether they are doing something wrong as parents.

Here are 5 signs you can look for, to identify if your child is feeling stressed. They might exhibit one or a combination of a few.

1. If your child, who is usually happy, becomes quiet or withdrawn

2. Often complains of stomach aches or headaches

3. Has trouble sleeping

4. Eats anything they can get their hands on, or doesn’t eat at all

5. Acts younger than their age

Here are some things you can look at, to see what your child may be stressed about.

• Busy Schedules - are you rushing from activity to activity?

• High Expectations - see if your child’s development matches your expectations of them.

• Conflict in the Home - is there lots of shouting or arguments in the home?

• Unpredictable Routines - routines give children structure, and a sense of predictability. When children know what is happening next, they can prepare and regulate themselves easier.

• Trauma - trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and may be experienced differently for each person.

• Missing Family Members - children don’t understand when their loves suddenly leave. Whether through death or separation, children become anxious wanting to talk or see that person, and don’t understand why they can’t.

Here are some ways you can help your child overcome their stress.

1. Words of Affirmation: Letting your child know you love them. Let them know you are proud of them ‘I’m so proud of you. I saw you helped that child up when they fell’. Even a genuinely happy smile goes a long way!

2. Physical Contact: Hug your child often. High fives, fist bumps, pat on the back…

3. Establish a Routine: A predictable daily schedule helps children feel safe and secure.

4. Physical Exercise: Allow your child to play outside.

5. Choices: Allow your child to make simple choices you can follow through on. ‘Do you want to wear the red shirt today or the blue shirt?’ ‘Do you want corn or carrots for supper?’

6. Talk about Your Emotions: When children hear you speak about your feelings and emotions, and explain why you feel them (“I’m sad today. Someone yelled at me when I accidentally bumped into them.”), this helps them learn to identify their emotions, and that everyone feels them - even you.

I hope this helps!

See you around!